June 19 – All Over But The Cryin’

Bald may not be beautiful, but it is a very interesting situation. Things I’ve observed in the few days I’ve been shorn:

1. Stubble is Velcro. Trying to pull a shirt over my head is near-impossible, thanks to the fact that the remnants grabs the cotton and won’t let go. I’ve already destroyed one collar.


2. Heightened sensations. I can feel every little breeze. Even before, when I had my hair down to ¼ inch, there was little I could feel up top, save for a giant wind gust. Now, I feel everything. Showers are the weirdest, because the water just hits it, heats it, and rolls off. One positive: all my hats now fit.


3. My new disguise. It’s the classic reaction of walking up on people and scaring the Hell out of them because they didn’t recognize me until I was right up in front. In my neighbourhood, at least, I’ve had the dogs out with me, so people could at least tell it was me coming, even if they didn’t recognize the outline.

And so it ends. Over $7400 raised, a bald head, and the feeling of knowing that in some small way I helped make a difference. Don’t forget, if you missed my fundraiser, the Vancouver Canadians are having one of their own – “Mullet Madness” – where if you donate money you get a highly fashionable wig for their game June 29.


It’s been fun; now, I gotta go teach. See you around.

Rob

'Nuff said

June 15 – The Day of Reckoning

By the end of the day, I will be bald.

Oh, that’s a good thing. At the end of the 45 days I have been promoting this haircut, I’m more than ready to have this mop removed from my head.

The fundraising aspect has been the treasure. That people responded is such ways to my call for support has reminded me that maybe I’m not such a bad guy after all. Granted, there are people who are on board simply to enjoy the spectacle I will be making of myself, but even they appreciate that the cause is greater than the man.

As of midnight Thursday/Friday morning, I have raised $7000. Now, for those of you who started late, that might appear less than my goal of $8000; the fact of the matter is that I have raised my goal twice from the initial starting point of a mere $2000. I consider a 350% surplus over initial projections to be a spectacular success – and, unlike Bre-X, the Cancer Society has already received their money.

The final total will be revealed on Monday, after the cup gets passed around at school and I enter the money into the database. But, whatever we top out at, the process was worth it.

There are so many people to thank. Those who donated, of course, get first and special mention. Each of you will be getting copies of the photos of the shave and my bald head. Everybody who received an email, regardless of donation, is also thanked, because you took the time to read my pleas. There are many people who couldn’t donate because they have already donated to other causes. Some people just didn’t. No matter; that I took some of your time and you didn’t complain – that counts too.

The Vancouver School Board also gets a big hug, because their tolerance of my shag is evidence of their fairness as an employer. A special, big hug goes out to the staff of the Roberts Education Centre, my home for the last 14 years. Many of you have already accepted it; some took seconds.

Chris Parry at Notes From the Nat – you’ve been a good friend. Thanks for all the promo and support. As was Ernie Dragan, whose own shave for the Province’s “Empty Stocking Fund” some years ago gave me the inspiration for my own.

To the brothers of Phi Gamma Delta – I’m proud to be a FIJI. Thanks for turning me on to philanthropy back in university.

Even the Vancouver Canadians get some love, because my stupidity forced me to rely on a depth of character I’d forgotten I had. I actually think I’m a bigger man now.













If you missed out on my fundraiser, Lori Bonang from their front office is running a fundraiser at the Nat June 29 – no haircut, but a donation gets you a free mullet (wig).

Finally, and deservedly, my wife Lisa, whose tolerance in the face of waking up next to 1975 knows no bounds. Oh sure, it’s from one extreme to the other, but bald can get better, while shag never does.

Apparently the turnout at the school today is going to be quite impressive. I hope the hype lives up to the hair.

I will see you all on the other side.

Thanks for everything.

Rob

June 13 – I’ve always needed a haircut

Like many children, I suffered the indignity of my birth certificate also qualifying as a barber’s license. When the time came for school photos, it was “go as you are”, not 'look like you want'. So this is what happened. It explains why I got beat up a lot.




Once I moved out of the house, all caution got thrown to the wind. By that, I mean I just got lazy and pretty much did nothing. As long as I bathed, no one really gave too much about my personal appearance – because it was my appearance.




But, as time passed and senses of decorum changed, there is a point to ‘knowing your role’, and dressing somewhat appropriately. Still, though, you can leave elements of your individuality intact, so long as they don’t supersede the situation.


Which brings us to today, in the shadow of my scalping. At this point in my life, I’m comfortable with the concept that “it’s just hair.” Not something I’ve really ever been comfortable with; it’s hard to style thick hair atop a size-8 head. The easiest method is just to keep it shaved down – something I did for four years prior to 2006. People forget that I have done the near-bald thing, and it suited me quite well.

I just got lazy one day, and that’s how all this started. Two days to go.

I’ve combed this town from top to bottom
I try to get around but my legs are broken
Every time I miss it ’cos I ain’t got a ticket

48 hours needs 48 thrills

Snip, snip, snip

June 11 – Into the home stretch

Over $6000 raised. Final set of emails sent out. Nothing left but the crying, and the cutting.

With four days to go, there isn’t much left to do. As I contemplate what is to come, and I mark a raft of (very fine) essays from my students on the Cold War, the haircut now seems a bit anti-climactic. It’s because of the sense that people have given their money, so the cut is expected; I have accepted their money, so I expect to have to cut my hair.

Long gone are the emails from people wondering if this is some sort of a publicity stunt or gag. When people ask me about it now, they query my inspiration; it’s 90% philanthropy and 10% this-is-the-marathon-I-run-before-truning-40. Doing something good is always a nice thing; the fact that it causes the demons that inhabit my soul great pain – well, that’s a bonus. The ‘marathon’ thing; well, I have done a lot in my first 38 years, and this seemed like a cool thing to do, rather than spending 6 months developing shin splints so I can limp around but have a good story of 4 hours wasted one rainy Sunday afternoon in May. I have seen enough doctors in recent years.

I have also enjoyed hearing from people I’d lost contact with some time ago. The tight connection may not be there anymore, but it’s still refreshing to hear from them, and have them validate the sentiment under which I am conducting this exercise.

Dreading the haircut? No; I’m looking forward to it.

June 8 – One week to go

In respect of the $6000 raised, and for your weekend enjoyment, I will do one of the two comparisons people have insisted on since I started…

“The Wedding Singer” – circa 1987.......... Rob McGowan – from 1987

June 15; 1:00 p.m.; 1666 Comox Street

The victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won. The haircut is irrelevant to the good deed, which was to raise money for the Cancer Society. With the money already collected, the haircut is but a formality to be undertaken. Feel free to attend.

June 7 – How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck…

Long before I became an employee of the Vancouver School Board, I was known for two things:

a) Spending 6 years pursuing a four-year degree
b) Selling beer at the Nat

Since many people now know why the latter has met its demise, I should enlighten as to why I cherish the former.

Back in 1986, as a 130-pound 18-year-old, I was granted the privilege of pledging the fraternity of Phi Gamma Delta. Throughout 6 years of undergraduate education, the brothers were my colleagues and friends. I probably would not have discovered who I am without their brotherhood and camaraderie. After graduation, although it is hard, I do my best to maintain contact, either at the yearly PIG dinner, lunches or drinks, or at Nat Bailey (sadly, no more).

"Woodchuck” comes from a particular period when, already possessing lots of hair, my wisdom teeth had to be extracted. Growing in both impacted and pointing down, it required dislocating my jaw to get them removed, resulting in quite the set of puffed cheeks. Add on three weeks of beard growth due to an inability to touch my face, and you get the “Woodchuck”. It could have been much worse – like “Beaver” or “Weasel”. It was, and is, a name I carry proudly as a fond reminder of the two decades I spent getting my History degree.

Proudly serving as my alternate identity at parties, social events and my graduation ceremony, it became the name people knew me as. It took some people years to discover my actual name. Even today, years after completing my UBC degree, it is still easier for some people to recall the “Woody” rather than the Rob. Who cares if I’m pushing 40? It’s still endearing to me.

Thank you Brothers. In honour of my impending haircut, here’s what one looks like skinned.

Perge!

UPDATE - Hair removal expert selected!

Just to let everyone know, the person to be entrusted with removing my hair has been selected.

It will be my friend Ernest, who works at Bobo's Salon - 1705 Davie Street, Vancouver (604-682-5999). A long-time stylist, I have known Ernest since the mid-1990s; he used to be a regular in the "Bum Zone" at Nat Bailey Stadium. Not only was he a regular customer, he also played on the beer-league softball team that one of the regulars started.

(A team, by the way, which had a direct impact on my meeting my wife, so I will always have good feelings about that experience. Thanks Rusty.)

He is going to sacrifice his lunch for the cause, and that means more than money to him. So, rest assured, I have booked a professional to cut off the hair, which will then be bagged and sent off to make wigs.

With June 15 now only 10 days away, the last pieces are falling into place. Even the elementary school kids who share our building are on board. Thanks to their inspecting the couches after Dad's nap, they have been able to contribute $70 to the cause. Division 6 - YOU ROCK!

Next update: what I'll be wearing on the fateful day. Oh, where's Austin Scarlett when I need him?

June 4 – The time gets closer while the hair gets longer

"Rapunzel rapunzel, let down your hair”

The time has come for the hair to go. Oh sure, this is something my wife has been saying for months, but I now know that I cannot handle the responsibility that is below-shoulder length hair. Aside from the maintenance (I know – ‘you actually treat that mop?’), while I was at work the other day, one solitary strand dangled down in front of my eyes like an angler fish. Irritated, I yanked that bad boy out. Much to my dismay, it was an 11-inch grey; it was like dental floss was growing from my head.

That, and the fact that it now gets in the way of eating, necessitates its departure. I refuse to tie it back to get through the day; I don’t care if I look like a caveman while teaching.

Not much to report from over the weekend. Some money came in – thank you again – but a plateau seems to have been reached. Well, there’s no point beating the horse until it’s time for the home stretch. So, I will hold off all direct requests until the last week. I know many people are still debating what and/or when; I’m just happy people are thinking of the cause.

And, of course, my soon-to-be-bald head. Saw a FIJI brother while shopping on Sunday; first words out of his mouth were:

“Mr. McGowan. Nice to see you; get a haircut.”

Probably the first time he’s used that phrase in 20 years, but it sounded like yesterday. Oh the memories.

Now it’s back to Bayport to solve mysteries with Frank and Joe. This week, in honour of my good friend Oz, we’ll try and solve “The Baseball Card Conspiracy”.

June 1 – Two weeks and counting

See this poster? It was made by one of the students at my school. The teacher said she needed an art project for a few kids, and did I have any ideas. Well, given the shameless self-promoter that I am, I narcissistically suggested she have a poster contest for my haircut. What you see here is the winner.

Apparently, I am having my hair cut by George Costanza.

Kidding aside, thanks to Mojgan Abolhasani for the artwork. I am having one mounted for permanent display in my class. I would also like to thank the rest of the art students for their participation. I'm glad you had fun mangling my appearance in the pursuit of completion assignments and grades.

Fundraising seems to have stalled at just over $5000. No problem. I am not judging the benefit based on how much money I raise; it’s how much money is raised for the Cancer Society that is the real goal. I am just a conduit. Continued thanks and gratitude go to all those who did or will contribute. I'm still going to go after people, but not until the final week. I am happy with everything that has happened.

With two weeks to go, there’s still plenty of time to:

a) donate to the cause – go to the link at the top or bottom of the page
b) set aside time to come watch the miracle of the “Clip on Comox”

And who knows? If I say my prayers and take my vitamins, maybe I can get my hair cut by Mean Gene.

Right back 'atcha brother.

See you after the weekend.

Rob